You Married Your Spouse, Not Everybody Else

When two people make marriage vows under Yahweh God, they are supposed to abide by what He set forth in the beginning.  In Genesis 2:24, the Lord laid it out quite plainly:

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (NKJV)

This means that you two have become one unit. You have each other's backs and you work for the betterment of your marriage. Granted we can talk to friends and family for advice, especially if they are married, BUT that advice should never be anything that would be to the detriment of your marriage.

In Samson's case, he found himself marrying a woman who did not believe what he believed. She did not follow God the way that He followed God, but yet he chose to yoke himself to this woman. In these verses, he gave a riddle to the Philistine's, but the only way they could solve it was to coerce Samson's new wife. They threatened to do harm to her family (not her and Samson) if she could not trick Samson into producing the answer. In the end, the wife chose to pester him so much that he gave up the answer to the riddle, to which she in turn told the men of Philistine.

"Some wives will make themselves a burden to their husbands until they get what they want. This tactic is used because it often works in the short term; but it can poison the relationship and ends up costing more than it gains." --David Guzik

One might say that her family's life was threatened.  However, I would like to point out that she was married to the strongest man on the planet - Samson. She could've told her husband and he could have taken care of those who threatened her and her family. She made the choice to side with her people instead of supporting her husband. Again, David Guzik's study guide of Judges 14, sums up everything quite nicely:

"The willingness of Samson’s Philistine wife to side with her people against Samson shows a fundamental weakness in their marriage. She did not fulfill the idea essential to marriage of leaving one’s father and mother to be joined in a one flesh relationship to their spouse... Yet this also shows why it was wrong for Samson to marry a Philistine. We cannot expect someone who does not love the God of Israel to build a marriage on God’s principles."

People, when you marry, you dedicate your life to each other. You do not dedicate your life to each other and everyone else around you.  If you are to love each other until death do you part, then each needs to know that they have each other's back. Again, it is ok to seek advice of others, but it is up to you to not let that advice violate the tenants of your marriage.

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Clarity in Manoah's Panic

As the head of the household, sometimes men we put a lot of burden on ourselves.  There are so many things that we go through as husbands and leaders that we sometimes have our minds clouded. Sometimes work and home blurs together and then there is the spiritual component in the mix of it all.  We start to ask ourselves all sorts of self-evaluating questions:  Am I serving God the way that I should? Am I raising my children right? Am I being a good husband?  Will it rain this weekend because I need to cut the grass?! 

In this scripture, most would see the beginning of the great Samson, but I want to share something else. In the previous verses, Manoah and his wife sacrificed a young goat and a made burnt and grain offerings to the Lord. As the flames burned, "the Angel of the Lord ascended in the flame of the altar" up to heaven.  In a panic, Manoah just knew that they would die because no man was to see Yahweh and live.  It was at this moment that the voice of reason spoke.

His wife said in short, if the Lord was going to kill them both, they would already be dead. Yahweh wouldn't have accepted their offerings. On top of that, He would not have sent the angel in the first place with the a divine message from God.  It was God who appointed a time such as this for Samson to be born and they were to be his parent. It wasn't a time for the Father to kill them both.

Brothers, we need our wives to be that voice of reason at times. Sometimes we can get ourselves so worked up and close to the edge, that we need that strong presence to talk us off the ledge.  All we have to do is set pride aside and listen. Manoah could and so can we.

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Lessons from Manoah, Samson's Father

Manoah had a wife who had been barren and out of the blue an Angel of the Lord appeared to her. The message? She would have a son who would deliver Israel out of the hands of the Philistines. Now think for a moment.  Here is a women who have not been able to conceive a child and three miraculous things happened to her all at once.

1. She was visited by an Angel of the Lord,
2. She was told that she would have a son,
3. The son that she would have would deliver Israel out of the hands of the Philistines.

After hearing this, the first thing she did was run to her husband, Manoah, to tell him of the incident. He did not doubt her or think she was crazy, but rather his thoughts were, Lord please send this man to teach us what to do with the child. 

First of all most men would wonder who is this strange man talking to my wife! Second, most men's first thought would not be to pray to have the man come back for instruction (probably more so for confrontation). It really tells us a lot about a man who would be the father of one to save a nation.

What lessons can we glean from Manoah?

1. Men, have your wife's back. You married her for a reason and sometimes she just needs you to hear her and believe/support her, no matter how crazy things may sound, and
2. Men, seek the Lord first. Manoah wanted this man to come back to know exactly how to raise his future son. Yahweh was blessing them and he wanted His instructions on how to care for that blessing.  Brothers are we like Manoah in how we treat the things God blesses us with?

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