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Early this morning as I sit at the pool-deck watching my kids swim at 7am, I am doing something a different. I am up earlier than usual and out the house earlier than usual. In addition, swim practice is usually in the evening, but they are on holiday schedule. In addition to this different type of morning, today is my 39th birthday! Yaaaay, Happy Birthday to me!!!
Usually birthdays aren't a huge deal for me. I don't count down the days or make big announcements. I give thanks to Yahweh for keeping me alive yet another year and cherish the moments that I have with my family. I don't ask for anything and it sometimes frustrates my wife and/or mother that I want nothing. But just as this morning is different, so too is this birthday.
For once I have a desire for something like a little five year old wearing a birthday hat. It is something that I REALLY want, but something that no one can provide - just one phone call from my father. For the first time in my life, I will not hear my Daddy's voice on December 21st. That is weird. No, wait. Actually, it is really weird. Every year I would get a call from my parents singing Happy Birthday, but this year, the tenor from that duet will be missing. One half of the reason for my existence no longer exists and it is a odd feeling.
It wasn't that he made promises of giving me lots of money or things. It was that he was my Daddy and he loved me (and my brother who has a birthday tomorrow) unconditionally. Now, it has been three months since his passing and while every day has its ups and down, it has generally gotten better over the short time.
I know that I am not the first to experience the lost of a loved one nor am I the last, but when a parent passes away, the situation seems to be parked only in your drive-way. To those who will experience a first special occasion or holiday without someone they love, be encouraged. Let the ones around you love you the way they know how and you reciprocate that love the best way you know how. There is some things that we can never get back, but there are somethings that we can pass forward. With that, I will leave you with the scripture that I shared during my father's funeral. It described him to a "T", but also is an example of how we are to love as well.
1 John 3:17-19 "(17) But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? (18) My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. (19) And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him." (NKJV)Be blessed folks.
Antoine Hall
Phone image is from Creative Commons and created by Christos Vittoratos
