You Married Your Spouse, Not Everybody Else

When two people make marriage vows under Yahweh God, they are supposed to abide by what He set forth in the beginning.  In Genesis 2:24, the Lord laid it out quite plainly:

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (NKJV)

This means that you two have become one unit. You have each other's backs and you work for the betterment of your marriage. Granted we can talk to friends and family for advice, especially if they are married, BUT that advice should never be anything that would be to the detriment of your marriage.

In Samson's case, he found himself marrying a woman who did not believe what he believed. She did not follow God the way that He followed God, but yet he chose to yoke himself to this woman. In these verses, he gave a riddle to the Philistine's, but the only way they could solve it was to coerce Samson's new wife. They threatened to do harm to her family (not her and Samson) if she could not trick Samson into producing the answer. In the end, the wife chose to pester him so much that he gave up the answer to the riddle, to which she in turn told the men of Philistine.

"Some wives will make themselves a burden to their husbands until they get what they want. This tactic is used because it often works in the short term; but it can poison the relationship and ends up costing more than it gains." --David Guzik

One might say that her family's life was threatened.  However, I would like to point out that she was married to the strongest man on the planet - Samson. She could've told her husband and he could have taken care of those who threatened her and her family. She made the choice to side with her people instead of supporting her husband. Again, David Guzik's study guide of Judges 14, sums up everything quite nicely:

"The willingness of Samson’s Philistine wife to side with her people against Samson shows a fundamental weakness in their marriage. She did not fulfill the idea essential to marriage of leaving one’s father and mother to be joined in a one flesh relationship to their spouse... Yet this also shows why it was wrong for Samson to marry a Philistine. We cannot expect someone who does not love the God of Israel to build a marriage on God’s principles."

People, when you marry, you dedicate your life to each other. You do not dedicate your life to each other and everyone else around you.  If you are to love each other until death do you part, then each needs to know that they have each other's back. Again, it is ok to seek advice of others, but it is up to you to not let that advice violate the tenants of your marriage.