Can't Is Not An Option

In my household, our daughter knows that the words "can't" or "cannot" are not options for use.  Now, we are teaching our younger son the same concept. It dawned on me that my wife and I are in such the habit of correcting it, that we do not realize when we do it.  This is actually a good thing!

This morning while on the way to dropping the kids off at school, I told my son that he should to learn how to whistle, so we all can whistle together.  His next statement was, "I can't."  Immediately, I found myself correcting him.  I am a stickler about this subject because many people will quickly say that they "cannot".  Unless there is some sort of disability affecting that person, most people can do just about anything if they put forth the effort.  It may take them a little longer to learn due to the individual, but they can get there.

So, adults, I encourage you as well to stop saying that you cannot do certain things.  Instead change your statement to "I do not know how" to do _________.  By saying this, you give yourself room to learn and and grow.

Be Blessed.

Antoine E. Hall

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Christians, You Misunderstand The Marriage Debate

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia.org

Right now as I write this entry, there is a debate going on somewhere in the United States.  The debate?  Well if you have not turned on a television in the past few hours, it is about same-sex marriage.  At this moment the US Supreme Court is discussing a case where a lady has sued to have a same-sex relationship recognized like a traditional marriage.  It is not just about the marriage, but all the full rights of a traditional marriage where the spouses receive benefits, insurance, tax breaks, etc.  However, at a time where the United States is in turmoil over who has the right to be married the debate is mostly misunderstood.

I am a follower of Christ and I believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman. The Bible says in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  This is my belief and I do not back down from it.  At the same time, those who do not believe the Bible as absolute truth will ignore this verse as they feel it does not pertain to them.  I get it.  I understand it.  Our starting point of understanding is totally different and as such there will not be an agreement.  My basis is in what God says.  Their bases is from their set of beliefs and values.  

In another camp, you have those who wish to have same-sex marriages recognized by the state and/or federal government.  They believe that they should be afforded the same rights as a married man and wife.  They believe they should have the same tax breaks, insurance coverage and benefits, as well as any other benefits afforded to a traditional married couple.  They desire to have the nation to accept them for who they are and give them the civil rights they deserve (although, I do not believe that this is a civil rights debate, but that is for another entry).  

What you end up having is this huge debate of different camps arguing about what’s right and what’s wrong - they are arguing about what the federal and state governments should allow and what should be sanctioned.  Christians are worried that, if laws change, many churches will be force to perform same-sex marriages which goes totally against the Word of God.  Those who are proponents of same-sex marriages feel that they are at the cusp of opportunity to be recognized with the same equal rights as others.  Everything is in a pure conundrum in this country.  However, let’s sit back for a minute. Let’s look at marriage for what it is today in the United States.

If you’ve noticed, everything that has been discussed is about the equal rights that are legally allowed by the government.  Looking at it for what it is, today’s marriage is an institution which is regulated by the government.  When I got married, I obtained a Marriage License.  Until recently it never dawned on me why I needed one other than it was apart of the process.  However, if you look at what has happened over history, you realize that something that was once a family only affair has turned into a permissioned based union by the government.

According to TheFreeDictionary.com, a marriage license is “a license authorizing two people to marry”.  If you go a step further, let’s look at the word license.  After doing a Google search, I found that a license is “[a] permit from an authority to own or use something, do a particular thing, or carry on a trade”.  In essence you have the government acting as the authority who is authorizing two people to legally enter into a union.  Theoretically, you would be breaking the law if you married someone without getting the authorization of a governing authority!  In addition, you would be breaking the law if you attempted to violate numerous marriage acts that were passed (some prohibiting the marriage of siblings, under aged, etc.).  How in the world did this happen?  How did the government become wrapped up in the legalities of marriage when men and women have been doing so since the beginning of time?

“For most of Western history, marriage was a private contract between two families. Until the 16th-century, Christian churches accepted the validity of a marriage on the basis of a couple’s declarations.”1  Prior to the 16th-century, a lot of marriages were arranged.  The families arranged the bride and groom and a ceremony process took place befitting for that culture.  In historical Jewish Marriage, it would start by the arrangement of the two to be married.  Next, the groom would have to pay money to the bride’s family for her and then the groom would go back to his father’s house to build a room for he and the new bride.  Once the room was completed, he would go back to get her, bring her home to the new room where they’d later consummate the marriage.  Pretty much that was it (I gave the abridged version, but I would encourage you to read my wife’s, The Bride of Christ and the Historical Jewish Marriage Significance).  

If you look at it for what it is, today’s form of “legalized marriage” is nothing more than a taxation and in returned you get “xyz” benefits from the license.  In a nutshell, that’s what you have.  Contrary to popular belief, the Supreme Court does not care what God says.  The Federal, state, and local governments do not care what church folk or conservatives believe is immoral or wrong.  When you marry, you receive a license that can be nullified at any moment because while you married your spouse, you were also given legal permission to do so by a third party.  As such, laws change and at the drop of the dime so can the definition of marriage according to man’s law and not God’s law.  Just because you go to a church and get married, you still are reminded by a Reverend to not forget to sign the marriage certificate, so it can be returned to the State.

People of God, you are pretty much approaching a debate with the wrong set of class notes.  Once man started to decide what was legal and illegal in regards to marriage, God was thrown out of the mix.  The laws are such that instead of paying a family for the bride, you pay the government for your bride.  We have lived this way for so many decades that we do not know anything different.  No one has ever asked why you need permission from someone other than parents to marry your spouse.  Satan is so clever that in the end you find yourself trying to defend the institution of marriage as defined by man and not God without even knowing it.

In conclusion, I encourage you to do your own research on the history of marriage. You might be amazed at what you find and you may realize that this battle is not yours to fight.

Be Blessed.

Antoine E. Hall

1. Wikipedia.com. “Marriage License”.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_license.

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Doing Wrong To Do Right

This morning as I drove in to work, I listened to David Jeremiah and he talked about Daniel in his sermon.  As, I listened he said something that really stood out to me.

"It is not right, to do wrong, in order to do what is right."

Now, this may not be the exact quote, but I am sure it is just about right.  The lesson that I learned is that we as people sometimes justify things that go against the will of God in order that we may get to a position to do what is right....or at least we think.  Let me give you an example.

When it comes to the 9-11, this is a hot topic of discussion about who caused it and whether or not it was an inside.  Regardless of what happened the claim was put out that this was the work of Osama Bin Laden.  The US, felt that the "right" thing to do was to track down and kill (at any cost) the people who were responsible for knocking those buildings down (paraphrasing President George W. Bush).  In the end, during President Obama's presidency, Osama Bin Laden was killed.

Now, first and for most, it is wrong to kill any one.  It was wrong for the people to die in those buildings.  However, it was also wrong to hunt someone down and kill them in order to "right the wrong" that was done to the nation.  This example is at a national scope, but think about how in the past you may have wished ill-will on someone so that you can "do what was right".  Even if you are at church and people are doing things wrong, it is not your position to do what will violate God's Word in order to get into a position to "right the ship" for God.  If God wants to right a ship, he can do so without you or any one else causing sin to themselves.

Noodle on that for a while....

Antoine E. Hall

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Do Little Things Well

"If you want to be a person with a large vision, you must cultivate the habit of doing the little things well. That's when God puts iron in your bones! The test of my calling is not how well I do before the public on Sunday; it's how carefully I cover the bases Monday through Saturday when there's nobody to check up on me, when nobody is looking."

-- Charles R. Swindoll

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Sexual Abuse, Promiscuity, and A Testimony

So far to this point in my might life, I think this is the hardest thing that I have had to write.  Not even a 20 page research paper while in college compares.  It took me awhile to get around to writing this entry.  I dragged my feet and I kept finding other things to occupy my time, but no matter what, the Holy Spirit would not leave me in peace until I did.  Even in a past blog entry, “Getting Into a Rod Bending Match With God”, I found myself writing about my own shortfalls (which is not out of the ordinary) and disobeying God.  However, that writing was a lead up to now.

So, with that said I must say that some of the things I will share may come as a shock to those who read this as it is a departure from the one side of me that you may have known.  However, growing up there was another private side that I have never shared.  It involved sexual abuse, homosexual acts, and lots of promiscuity.  

Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.  

Believe what you will, but children have memories that can go back to when they were infants.  I can recall memories of being held by my mom as a child while riding on a subway train in New York.  I could not talk and was a lap baby, but I have that one image in my brain.  I also, remember being between 3-5 years old and getting on a school bus that took me to a daycare that was in a church in New Bern, NC.  I sat in class, learned about Jesus and I was a regular kid.  As far as I can remember, this was my first introduction to the Lord. However, it is at this same age (around 3-4), I was sexually abused.  This too, I remember vividly.

During this time in my life, both of my parents use to work during the day, so I was kept by a neighbor’s wife, teenage son, and younger daughter.  I was there a lot, but the one day that I remember is the day I have never been able to forget.  I was sexually abused by the son.  In addition, I was shown what to do as if I were a partner in a homosexual relationship.  Not only was I sexually abused by the son, but I was made to have sexual intercourse with the younger daughter. I was held and “guided” as to what should have been done.  It wasn’t until later that day when my parents came home that I complained of my pain that my Mom checked my underwear.  In it she saw blood, told my Father and I told them what happened that day.  I remember the family walking next door, there was a conversation, and I never stayed over there again.  In all honesty, with my Father’s no-nonsense attitude, I am thinking the only thing that kept him from killing and out of jail is God!

So, up to this point you have a small child who had been introduced to sexuality.  The last thing that should be on a kid’s mind of my age at that time is sexual acts.  But, there I was - my mind had been exposed to a world of perversion and innocence was lost.  One might ask, how did I cope with being sexually abused?  Well, if you have had the opportunity to watch children, you probably know that kids are quite resilient.  While memories are hard to erase, a sometimes kids just carry on with their lives.  However, in the same breath, it is those memories that can warp a child’s perspective on the life as they have lived it thus far.

From what I learned, on occasion was involved in homesexual acts with other children.  I still thought girls were cool, but I also thought the homesexual acts were not a problem.  It was a learned behavior (maybe, more on learned behavior in a later blog post).   These acts continued on occasion into elementary school, until one day I decided that I liked girls only and no longer had a desire for the homesexual acts.  For this alone, I thank God for his saving grace!  Yes, He kept me!

To make matters worse, by the time I was out of elementary school, I had been introduced to pornography!  As you know, this graphic display and influence of sexual activity can create all kind of ideas and misinterpretations for a person, not to mention a kid.  As I moved from elementary school into middle school, I had girlfriends, however as you could imagine, my interpretation of relationships between girls and boys was a little more advanced based on past experiences.  By the time I was in 8th grade, I found myself sneaking into the window of a girl’s home and having sex all while the parents sat home.  I continued on into high school but my promiscuity didn’t stop there.  It continued to the point where I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD).  PRAISE GOD, it was one that was curable and not one that could kill me!

After the STD and into college, you would think that I would have learned my lesson, but I didn’t.  The pornography would occasionally still prop up and the sexual relationships with different girls did not stop.  You know the funny thing is that I called it having fun!  What was weird though was that once I got into a relationship with someone I was committed to that person.  It was just that when I wasn’t in that committed relationship that all bets were off.  It wasn’t until towards the end of college that I began to “grow up” and slow down, however, by this time in my life, I had committed numerous sins and I had them committed against me.

It was the final year of college that I met my current wife and a year later we were married. I have been married for nearly 12 years and together we have two beautiful children.   Most importantly, I gave my life to Jesus Christ about a year after we were married.  I have given my life to the One who gave His life for me!  I have asked God for forgiveness and I have forgiven those who committed sinful acts against me.  However, through all of this, one might think “So what?”  To some other people, it sounded as if I lived the life that every boy/kid would have desired in middle & high school as well as college.  Well, yes I lived life, but I lived a dangerous life.  I lived one where at any point I could have been killed by an incurable disease or one where I thought it was natural to carry on in relations with other men!  

To the Lord our God, the life that I use to live was/is unacceptable!  In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, it says

“(9) Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, (10) Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”

I bold the words above because they speak directly to my life as I had described it.  You might say that this mentions nothing about homosexuality, but let me show you.  It may not say the word explicitly, but God’s word speaks against it.  The word effeminate means “[h]aving qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men.”  This covers another male acting like females.  Then you have the word fornication which means “[s]exual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.”  As such, the fornication part alone would speak directly to it because in the eyes of God, marriage is the union between a man and a woman.  Seeing as how two men nor two women in marriage would be recognized by God, then it is a sin and you shall never inherit the kingdom of God - but that’s if you did not continue on to verse 11 of 1 Corinthians 6 where there is good news!

“(11) And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

Yes, I was too. But, if your life was mine, then you have a way out.  You have a choice that you can make and it is a decision that you can chose right now.  It is not to say that life instantly becomes easy, but being washed by the blood of Jesus will make you righteous and deliver you from the evil that consumes you!  I am a living witness that you can be delivered.  If you know Christ, then you can repent, turn from your ways, and you will be forgiven (see Acts 3:17-23)!  However, repenting is not a get out jail free card. It is a choice to turn and walk away from what you have done in the past and to never do it again.  If you do not know Christ, then you can give your life to Christ by (1) recognizing your past sin(s); (2) believing in your heart that Jesus died for your sins and that he rose from the grave to sit at the right hand of God. and; (3) by committing to live according to the Word of God and continuously seeking Jesus as the only way to God for the rest of your life.  I am a living witness that God can save you!  He can deliver you and there is noone or thing who can release you of the past sin like God can!

Psalm 30:  (1) I will extol thee, O Lord; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. (2) O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. (3) O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. (4) Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. (5) For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (6) And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved. (7) Lord, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled. (8) I cried to thee, O Lord; and unto the Lord I made supplication. (9) What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth? (10) Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper. (11) Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; (12) To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Be Blessed folks and have a great day!

Antoine E. Hall

P.S.  It is not my aim to drag anyone’s name through the mud or to point any fingers.  It is my prayer that whoever reads this, receives this not as a “woe is me” blog entry, but rather a showing of the power of Christ and the showing of power of His saving grace.  This is only a short account of my life, my past sins, and God’s amazing saving grace! May God receive all the glory!!

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Prayer Shouldn't Be Complicated

"...Prayer was never intended to be a verbal marathon for only the initiated . . . no secret-code talk for the clergy or a public display of piety. None of that.  Real prayer---the kind of prayer Jesus mentioned and modeled---is realistic, spontaneous, down-to-earth communication with the living Lord that results in a relief of personal anxiety and a calm assurance that our God is in full control of our circumstances...."  

-- Chuck Swindoll

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The Militant Christian

Image Courtesy 
of Wikimedia.org

I have been told on three different occasions that I am a “militant” or “angry” Christian. Right after, on two occasions, I was told that I needed more love (I can draw more people with honey rather than vinegar and I can’t wait for God to release me to write about “love”) or I was reminded about Paul, and how I’m neglecting his writings.

So, when I get an accusation like that, I figure, I need to take a step back and do self-examination. Am I off base with my beliefs? What are my beliefs? Do they line up with the word of God and not some pastor or author of some books that you find on Amazon or Barnes and Nobles?  Then, what about Paul and the things that he taught? Most importantly, what about Jesus, and the things that He taught? I’m going to take a little time to explore, and I ask that you take that journey with me. BUT, before we do, we must come to agreement on two things:

1. It is always important to test yourself to see if you are in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5)
2. The Word of God is true, without error, and used for instruction and correction (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

I guess it’s probably best to start off with my belief, which is really hard to do because my view of theology is complex, yet so simple. How do I explain that? Well, what I mean by complex is being a disciple of Christ is not easy, yet, His call to salvation is. For example, Jesus plainly tells us that not everyone who says “Lord, Lord” will enter into the kingdom of heaven (will be saved), yet, only those who do the will of His Father will. So that lets me know, there is more to being a disciple than just “saying” and “thinking” I’m a Christian, or being a Christian in name only. My “works” don’t “save” me, but they certainly do make a statement of Who I am serving and who I am. However, salvation is so simple. God says, if you hear His voice, harden not your heart – or else you will be deceived by sin (Hebrews 3). Then all you have to do is recognize your sin as direct disobedience and an offense to God and His character (Psalm 51:4), repent (turn away from them, *stop it!*)(Revelation 2:16, Ezekiel 14:6, Joel 2:12, Matthew 3:8) and accept His gift of salvation (Romans 10:9) by believing in faith that Jesus is the only way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:16) – that through His shed blood, we are redeemed (1 Peter 1: 18-19) . See? It’s simple, yet complex.

I also believe that if we are TRULY following Christ, our thinking will start to change, and we won’t see the world the same way (Romans 12:2). You will start to see the error in other’s thinking and the thinking in society as contrary to what God says and thinks. You will see the blatant attack on your faith and those who you thought were friend or even fellow Christians will turn against you. You will find true companionship in others who are genuinely following Christ, and see that you all have the same types of persecution and I’m not talking about “haters”.  But, no wonder - you all are following the most hated One ever – and He warns us about this (John 15:18, Matthew 10:22). You also will learn or discern how to check the fruit (Matthew 7:16) to see if what people (yes even pastors) say line up with the Word of God. In other words, you will find out who are the sheep and who are the fakers/goats/false teachers. You will learn to hear the voice of Christ (John 10:27-30), the Good Shepherd (John 10:11), through studying and knowing His word (2 Timothy 2:15). This is important because He warns that there will be many that will come in His name, but will teach false things (Matthew 24:3-5,10-11). I believe that once you know His voice, you will start to feel comfortable warning others or standing up for God’s word. Not that it has to be proven, but in a world that needs to hear, if you know the truth, you better live it and speak up, otherwise, you do have blood on your hands (Ezekiel 33:1-9). I believe that once you KNOW God, you will not only start to fear Him but reverence Him as well (Psalm 34:9). Last, I believe that once you know God, you will not live in sin (1 John 5:18).

When I was “in the church”  I fell victim of false teachings. I even once became a pastor pleaser, putting him on a pedestal. I devoured and gluttoned myself on his every word instead of God – trusting him for my salvation and knowledge because, why would my pastor tell me wrong? I witnessed men emasculated and I witnessed myself becoming fearful and subservient to a man that is not my husband or my God. There were several more times after that, where I now realized God allowed me to “sit under” or be “sat on” by those pastors and false doctrines so that I will know what to look out for and how to warn others. These experiences did make me “militant”. And I thank God for that.

So, how have I become militant you may ask? Let's first look at the definition of "militant"....

Militant: adjective 1. vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause: militant reformers.
2.engaged in warfare; fighting.
noun 3. a militant person. 4. a person engaged in warfare or combat.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/militant

These definitions would fit 1 Timothy 6:12 and 2 Timothy 4:7, as well as Ephesians 6:10-18. And, here are a few other ways that I identify with being “militant”…..

1. I stand firm and don’t compromise the Word of God (1 Corinthians 16:13, Ephesians 6:11, Colossians 1:23). One thing that you will notice is that since seeking and finding the truth of GOD for myself, I will stand firm in my belief. I am very open to discussion, but the case is closed on my faith in the triune God and God alone. Through my experiences and my study of scripture, I have learned to discern when something is being said and is a lie about God. I’m not afraid to call it out.
2. I stay watchful (1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 5:14, 1 Thessalonians 5, Luke 21:34-36). Have you noticed the temperament of “Christians” lately? Many have been lulled to sleep by this world. A lot has to do with the love of their life more than God, the prosperity gospel and other false gospels, some has to do with not thinking that Jesus can come back at any moment and they have “time”. But Jesus told an important parable in Matt 25 of the 10 virgins. Many were unprepared for His return, and many Christians will be that way too. Why? Because they love the cares of this world, the music, material things, the shallowness of it all. Many also have “itching ears” and refuse sound doctrine. Therefore will fall prey to false teachings and beliefs about God.
3. I am ready to suffer and stand alone and even die for my faith in Christ (Matthew 5:10-12, 10:39, John 15:20, Psalm 129:2, 2 Timothy 2:3). There have been on more than one occasion where I had to stand alone for the gospel of Christ. There have been times where I’ve been “attacked” by fellow “Christians” for speaking simply what the bible (not the pastor) actually says. I suspect that there will be tougher times as well. And I welcome it. Why? Because I have learned that if the world loves what you are saying, you ain’t saying it right.
4. I am willing and able to follow my General’s commands (Matthew 7:21, Ephesians 6:6, 1 Peter 4:2). There are times in my life where I want to do something, say something, and go somewhere. But I hear the voice of God and the unction of the Holy Spirit telling me “No”. There are times where I Don’t want to do, say, or go and the Father tells me “GO”! There are times where I want to forge ahead in getting a point across and the Holy Spirit says “Shhhh. No more.” And as hard as it is to obey, I have learned that it’s in my best interest. I, as a mere “soldier”, cannot supersede my General’s commands. It’s hard, because you have to learn to lay down your own desires and will in order to be in line with His. But it is really worth it in the end.

So, am I militant in my walk? I am inclined to say yes. I am also inclined to say everyone who claims to be a disciple of Christ should be. We are in a spiritual battle – we war not against flesh and blood but against spiritual darkness in high places. We are kidding ourselves if we think that we can follow Christ and be placating Christians holding hands and kumbaya-ing with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, or every false doctrine or non-believer out there. The adversary, the devil, satan is NOT playing with us. He is playing for keeps, coming to steal, kill and destroy us all. And it would behoove every believer to put on their spiritual armor, get on the wall, and cry aloud “REPENT! FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND!”.

Militantly yours for Christ,

+Deidra Hall
Board Certified Coach 

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For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deut 20:4  Translation: We never lose!!

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The Triune God Is Real

According to Wikipedia.com, the philosophical definition of reality states:

"In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined.[1] In a wider definition, reality includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still more broad definition includes everything that has existed, exists, or will exist."

This very definition alone ascribes to the fact that the Triune God is Real!

Revelations 1:8 "I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty."

Have a happy Monday!

Antoine E. Hall

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The Bride of Christ and the Historical Jewish Marriage Significance

Image Courtesy of WikiMedia Commons

Often we hear “we are the bride of Christ”. Or “He will come back for a church/bride without spot or blemish.”. But what does that mean?

I would like to look deeper into this with you. But first, we must agree on some basic biblical truths:

• Jesus Christ is the bridegroom of His Ecclesia (church) (2 Corinthians 11:2) 
• The bible is true, without error, and used for correction and instruction (2 Tim 3:16-17)

Jesus told many parables regarding marriage during His time on earth. There are also that are foreshadowed and foretold in the old and new testament, respectively. But just reading them does the importance of the matter no justice. You have to know the historical background of the Jewish customs of marriage to fully understand. And, that is where I’d like to start, and “marry” the two (ha! Pun intended).

This historical Jewish marriage tradition was much more elaborate than how we in our “world” get married today. There were so many things to do, plans to make, payments and arrangements to confirm. But it all served a purpose. Now, let’s look at the steps that it took to get married, and how it correlates to the teachings of the Bridegroom/bride of Christ. For the Jewish tradition, we can look at Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah in the Old Testament in Genesis 24. Point to remember, Abraham’s servant is working on his behalf, as at this time, Abraham was too old to accomplish his responsibilities.

First the Shiddukhin or the match-up (Gen 24:50-51, context v1-51): The marriage was not the idea of the man and woman to be married like how it is now. It was arranged between families, often the fathers. However, sometimes the bridegroom did get to choose if He saw a bride that he liked and sometimes even loved. And marrying outside of your particular “kind” was taboo.

This should ring a couple of bells –  God draws and chooses the bride. Jesus being the bridegroom will only “marry” His “kind”.

Eph 1:4 (NLT) Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

John 6:37 (NLT) However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.

1 Peter 1:13-16 - ¹³So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. ¹⁴So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. ¹⁵But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. ¹⁶ For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”^[c]

Second came the Eyrusin or “Betrothal”. A part of the betrothal was called the Kiddushin, which meant “set apart”. The Kiddushin or Betrothal is kind of like our “engagement” now days but the commitment is MUCH stronger, and much more meaningful. To be betrothed, was a covenant between the bridegroom and the bride to be to be set apart for each other and no one else. This is something that the bridegroom would initiate by leaving his father’s house to go to the bride. He would then ask the bride to be his, and the bride had to choose to accept. In this covenant, the bride (once approached) would agree to belong to the bridegroom, she wouldn’t give her heart to another. That covenant sealed the deal. In a sense, without all the pomp, they were already married. The only way the bridegroom  could get out of the covenant would be to “divorce” out of the covenant (Deut 24:1-4).

One of the major things that went on during the betrothal and before the bridegroom asked for the brides hand of marriage was the “Mohar” negotiation. The young woman was very valuable to her family. She often helped cook, clean etc around the home. To lose her, was a huge blow to the family. In order to make a fair “exchange” she had to be “paid for”. The payment that the young man’s father would make was called the “mohar”. Although the mohar went to the father of the bride, it really belonged to her.

How does this part relate to the bride of Christ? Let’s look at some scripture:

John 6:38-40 ³⁸For I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do my own will. ³⁹And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day. ⁴⁰For it is my Father’s will that all who see his Son and believe in him should have eternal life. I will raise them up at the last day.”

Here we see all three parts of the betrothal. Jesus leaves His home (coming down from Heaven) to come to the brides home (earth). His Father makes the arrangement (His will that none be lost). And the bride chooses to accept (all who believe).  Let’s look at another passage. Also to note, just like it was only the privilege of the bridegroom to break the covenant, so it is with the Father. He is the only one that will be able to break that covenant, but He is not a God of divorce. Thus, the promise of the Bride to His Son forever (eternal life).

Because of our sinful nature, we once belonged to a father. A vicious, brutal, murderous father. And we were VERY important to our father as we opened doors for him to hold on to more and more of his children.

John 8:43-45 ⁴³Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! ⁴⁴For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. ⁴⁵So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me!

Romans 1:32 (context v18-32) - They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

The Father would need to pay a ransom to buy us from our father. It would cost a lot to let us go, and that is the price, the “mohar” that the bridegroom had to pay.

1 Peter 1:18-20 ¹⁸For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. ¹⁹It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. ²⁰God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but he has now revealed him to you in these last days.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ¹⁹Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, ²⁰for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Philippians 2:7-8 (KJV) ⁷But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: ⁸And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.  ***the “even” is very significant. Jesus just didn’t die. He didn’t get shot or stabbed for us. He died on a cross. That is important because dying on a cross was one of the most dishonorable way to die. Criminals died that way. Yet, the one who had committed no sin paid that price, to buy us back from our father so that we can be one with Him and His Father.****

So, after the betrothal and Mohar was paid, in my research, there were two things that happened.

The bridegroom and bride would both drink wine from the betrothal cup (much like our communion as found in Luke 22:18-20). And they would also exchange things (rings, gifts etc.)

They both would participate in the Mikveh - or Ritual Immersion signifying the spiritual cleansing of them both (much like our baptism into the faith Matt 28:19).

After these were complete, the customary next step would be for the son to leave. But, before he did, he would give his bride-to-be a small gift. This gift would be what she would keep to remind her of the commitment as well as remind her of him and his love for her until he returned. This gift was called the “Mantan”.

Christ’s Bride’s Mantan is this:

John 16:5-8 ⁵“But now I am going away to the one who sent me, and not one of you is asking where I am going. ⁶Instead, you grieve because of what I’ve told you. ⁷But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate[a] won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. ⁸And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.” **The Advocate is another translation in the NLT for The Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 1:13-14 ¹³And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own^[a] by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. ¹⁴The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

During the time that the bridegroom is gone (the separation period), the bride would prepare herself for his return, and he would go to his father’s home and prepare a space for he and his bride to live. In biblical times, the bridegroom didn’t build a brand new home. Instead, he would build new rooms on to the already existing home of his father. After the father was satisfied that the living quarters were complete, the bridegroom was then able to go get his bride.

This also reflects what Christ said:

John 14:1-3 ¹“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. ²There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.^[a] If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?^{[b] 3} When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.

Or, the more popular version (KJV): ¹Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. ²In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. ³And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

As far as the bride becoming ready:

Revelations 19:7-8 ⁷Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him.For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. ⁸She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.

Eph 5:25-27 - ²⁵For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.^{[a] 27} He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

Once the separation was over, and the father deemed the preparations to be in order for the bride to come. This would begin the “Nissuin” – or the wedding ceremony. The special thing about this in biblical times is that it came after much anticipation. Most separations lasted about a year. The bride knew that her bridegroom would be coming, but not the exact time or day. For this reason, she stayed ready, expecting his return at any moment. Usually, as the bridegroom approached the home of the bride, there would be a loud shout or announcement of his coming. This was done by one of his groomsmen. As he shouted through the streets a great crowd would follow, all shouting. Once he arrived for his bride, they once again drank from the cup, said their vows, and a huge celebratory banquet would ensue.

Matt 24:36-37 ³⁶“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. ^[a] Only the Father knows. ³⁷“When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day.

Matt 25:13 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return. (in context Matt 25:1-13).

Christ’s Return and wedding:

1 Thess 4:16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died^[a] will rise from their graves.

Rev 19:7-9 ⁷Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. ⁸She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people. ⁹And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.” And he added, “These are true words that come from God.”

Amen.

+Deidra Hall
Board Certified Coach 

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For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deut 20:4  Translation: We never lose!!

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Getting Out of Emotion and Using Discernment – The Marvin Sapp Response, and Prayer

"Praying Hands", Courtesy of WikiMedia

I've seen a few posts on FB this morning about the response of Marvin Sapp about a song called "Stay Prayed Up". I will admit that I'm not familiar with the song, or the writer/singer of the song. But I can say, that his response is a false statement.

Below, you will find the question of a lady, and Mr. Sapp’s response.  Later, I will break down his response – a lie, wrapped in a tiny bit of truth – as the word of God says “…a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.” (Galations 5:9, 1 Corin 5:6).

Please read my only response to the song "Stay Prayed Up"

Mr Sapp, I was a big fan of yours however as a Christian I'm a bit confused about your motivation to record the record prayed up. I intentionally watched you on the HOA and was taken back by your conversation with Kandi at the studio. You continued to tell her not to try to explain herself, and that she didn't have to apologize etc. I'm just wondering is this the watered down version of the word you are teaching in your church? The bible says "my people perish because of a lack of knowledge." It also says "GOD would rather that we be hot or cold." Not trying to come off as judgmental but this is the type of thing that makes the church look no different than the world. So fed up with this new concept of stooping to the worlds standards to reach souls Jesus hung out in places with sinners to reach them but HE never comprised GIS standards nor GOD's word. Kandi is motivated by money just wondering what's your motivation?

Usually I don't respond to people about things like this however I must this time. The problem with many in the church is 1.) that we major in minors and 2.) ignorant (not well studied) of scripture. Lets deal with the first, This woman who was an ex R&B singer that sells sex toys and live with her man decided on a show that reaches 10 million viewers per showing (believers and unbelievers) to sing about,,,, Not sex toys, drugs or living with a man but PRAYER!!!!!! and the saints are upset. The lyric says, "I stay prayed up, that gets me by, that how I made it through my darkest time, see I'm a sinner and thats no lie, but thank God my prayers are heard because he knows I try" Wow!!!!! nothing elicit or comprising about the lyric.... So lets look at how Jesus dealt with the sinner..... From my study of scripture the only people he checked was the church (religious people of that day) however the sinner he consistently showed COMPASSION!!!!!!! Examples...... Woman caught in the ACT of adultery Also the Woman at the well....... Never exposed them publicly, dealt with them privately. We as believer major in minors...... So caught up in the messenger that we are missing the message "Staying Prayed UP". Now I close with this...Everyone that God used in scripture was flawed and or had struggles.... Let me call the roll..... Moses was a murderer, Rahab was a harlet (whore), David was a murder/adulter and still considered a man after Gods own heart, Peter was a cutting cusser however was in the inner circle of Jesus, Paul was a murderer and made many blaspheme against God however wrote 2/3 of the NT, He spoke through a Donkey and if we decide to be quite rocks will cry out... We say we are christians which means being Christ-like but question peoples motives that model his behavior....The bible speaks about witnessing and that you need to be wise to win souls and Paul says I became all things to all men that I might win some.... Compromise was never done here nor do I condone her life style or life choices and keeping 100 you don't know the off camera conversation we had. Again big picture 10 million people at 1 time were challenged to PRAY in difficult times WOW!!!! Thats Awesome and Ministy..... PS Didn't spell check because I'm late to a meeting.... Be Blessed

Now, before we begin, we must agree on a few biblical truths before we move forward:

1. We need discernment to understand God’s Word and laws (Psalm 119:125)
2. Only believers will understand God’s Word ( 1 Corinthians 2:14)
3. The Word of God is true, without error, and used for instruction and correction (2Tim 3:16-17)

If we can agree to this, then, let’s continue….

There are two things that need addressing here. The first is how much a Christian will idolize one person, so much so, that they ignore the discernment that God is giving them to see something that is dangerous to their souls.

Now, I will admit, this first part will be commentary, I will add supporting scripture where I can, but ultimately, I am just sharing my observations.

After Mr Sapp raised this statement, there were many that came to his side in his defense. I believe that is what caught my attention. My newsfeed was flooded with “Amens”, and the like, agreeing with what he said. Many of the “amens” were emotionally charged – as to say “he told them!” or “that’s right, y’all church folk, that’s why don’t nobody wanna be bothered with you!”. Some were “amens” because what he said sounded good on the surface. Those were the “amen” attitudes. But what does “amen” really mean?

Yes, we know the conventional meaning of “amen” – “so be it”. But why do we say it? Let’s look at scripture:

Rev 3:14 (KJV) 14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saiththe Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;…..

When we agree with our “amens” we are saying that whatever we are agreeing to is as pure, faithful and as truthful as THE AMEN Himself! The Amen is Christ! So, we can’t just go around “amening” to anything. That is not a word to throw around lightly. The attitudes above did not reflect agreement in The Amen. What they reflected were bitterness and anger at someone who was bold enough to ask a question. Someone who was bold enough to hold someone accountable for the office they proclaim and the message that they are sending. Those “amens” were blatant disdain and goes completely contrary to the Word of God when it says:

1 John 4:1 “Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.”

Matt 7:15-22 15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 19 So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. 20 Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”

People of God, we must be careful in these times. She was not out of order, and Christians who hold other fellow laborers, whether they be famous or not, or pastors or not, accountable for their words and deeds, and want to do as the bible says, are not either. In fact, making sure we are not among wolves IS being obedient to Christ, and it is very wise in doing so. Many are led astray because they follow another voice blindly instead of listening and following Christ’s voice….always remember that.

John 10:4-5(KJV) 4 And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.5 And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers. ***discernment and knowing the actual Word of God will keep you from following strange voices/doctrines.***

The second is the issue of prayer.

The more and more I read his statement, the more and more clear the subtle lie became. That one little subtleness is the leaven in the lump. And isn’t that exactly how the enemy works? Now, don’t get all emotional on me…I did NOT call Mr Sapp the devil – don’t let that spirit rise up and confuse you. See carefully what I said – the enemy works in subtleties. He is cunning – just ask Eve! He will twist something ever so slightly that you won’t even notice that the lie is in there – but it’s there. So let’s examine this and pull back the covers on this serpent. I would like to do this in 3 ways. I would like to examine the song, the message, and Mr. Sapp’s message.

I did go and research the young lady who sang the song, as well as the lyrics. And yes, they are “uplifting” – but what are they uplifting?

The first stanza – speaks of the loss of her husband, her grief and her trying to keep it together for her daughter.

In my research of her, I found that before she was married, she lived and had a daughter with her boyfriend.That was something that was new for me. I don’t watch the show, and don’t know anything about her – except for the things I found that she wrote, and other things I’ve found in my search. So, I was under the assumption that her daughter was with her deceased husband. Anyway, in this song, she admits to fornication. (Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Revelation 21:8-9)

The chorus – A lyric that stands out and should catch a believer’s attention is this verse: Yeah I’m a sinner and that’s no lie. Thank God my prayers are heard cause He knows I try.

This lyric, the crux of the song, is contradictory to the Word of God. These are not His words, or His truth as He cannot lie or contradict Himself. (John 9:31, Psalm 66:18, James 5:16)

The second stanza – speaks of her trying to hold her home together, keep her kids happy. But it’s hard because she always feels judged, but she’s just trying to do the best she can.

But, trying and doing are two totally different things in the kingdom of God.  Jesus says, if you love me youwill keep my commandments (John 14:15,21) He also says only those who do the will of His Father will see heaven and be considered His brother or sister (Matt 7:21, 12:50). And willfully going from living with one man not her husband and having a child, to living now with another who is not her husband is not trying, as well as her other choices and lifestyles contradictory to God’s word is not trying.

So what message is this song sending? It’s sending the message, God, I know I’m messed up, I’m doing wrong. But, I’m just gonna pray and keep doing it because I think you hear me and you know I’m “trying”. Is that the life that God would want His elect, His royal priesthood, His Bride to have when He tells us to Repent and accept Christ as our Savior – the one who can restore us to where God wants us to be?

Now, for Mr Sapp’s message. As a man who has over 5,231 “friends” to this time at 10:33pm on 2/26/13 on one page and 4,955 on another at this same time, he must be careful with giving the truth of God’s word.

Let us lay down the enchantment of his voice, fame and status for a moment, and use God’s discernment – especially after what we have just gone through…

The accusation of “church folk” majoring in minors is both divisive and inflammatory. Admit it, when you read that, didn’t you have an “us vs them” mentality? But, aren’t we ALL brothers and sisters, one body in Christ? (Romans 12:5, 1 Corinthians 12:12, Ephesians 2:14,16 ,Colossians 3:15)

Second, as “church folk” majoring in minors is what we are supposed to do. Now, I’m not exactly sure what he meant by that statement. But, from the times that I have heard it used, it was to say that people are too nitpicky. But didn’t we just learn that we are suppose to be nitpicky? Aren’t we suppose (according to the Word) inspect the fruit and test the spirit? If we are not nitpicky, we will start to let (which as already happened even after several warnings in the bible) false teaching AND prophets enter into the body of Christ. I for one, dare not meet Christ and He ask why I didn’t test spirits and check fruit and I say “Well, Lord, I didn’t want to be majoring in minors”. Please believers, don’t let someone trick you into not checking actions and motives – either of those in “church” or out of church. Every spirit should be tested, and every fruit should be checked – even the pastor.

Third, he admits that he knows this woman is in sin. Yet, he mixes the “holy” (supposed “gospel” song) with the profane. Why? Why as a man of God who is blatantly telling us that those who question are ignorant of the Word of God, is himself ignorant of this very warning from God?

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 - 14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said:

“I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 17 Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. 18 And I will be your Father,  and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

Last, he goes down the “roll call” of those who were sinners. But what he fails to say is – yes, each and every one of those people sinned. BUT, when they encountered God, when they encountered Christ – they were changed. God chose Moses, and Moses obeyed His call. God chose David, and David obeyed his call. The adultress encountered Christ and He commanded her “GO! And sin no more”. And she obeyed. He encountered the woman at the well, and she went back changed and witnessing about what the “Man at the well did” when He told her everything about herself. Those people were believers. And you must know, that God’s promises are for those who are believers. I highly suggest you read my last writing “Why I Am Not A SinnER” if you haven’t already – it will help greatly with this truth and understanding.

With Mr Sapp’s stamp of approval, he has now led those “over 10 million viewers” both unbelievers and believers a like (which I don’t believe or understand why believers/disciples of Christ would be watching things that HE tells us to guard ourselves against – but that’s just me) to believe that it’s ok to be in your sin – “Do what thou wilt” the mantra for the satanic believer – and say a prayer in tough times, God will hear you and you’ll be ok. That is a lie from the pit of hell. Going through all of the scriptures you should be able to see that. Satan is crafty. He is very good at what he does. He’s been doing it well over 2,000 years, and he has no need to change up his game, because it works.

WE HAVE TO KNOW THE WORD OF GOD!! It’s the only way that we will not be deceived. Eve didn’t know the Word of God – and she was “beguiled”. Jesus DID know (and IS) the Word of God – and put satan to shame on the mount.

Do you know what would have honored God? If Mr Sapp would have taken that time on camera to lead Kandi to God for salvation, that would have honored God. She by her own admission has no relationship with him. If Mr Sapp would have shared the gospel for 10 Million hurting souls to hear and seek the true living God, that would have honored God. That is what would have been awesome and ministry. Instead we are left with a song that will get people emotional, but not seek true salvation, and fade over time. Those few minutes on air was squandered for the benefit of selling a record (face it, that’s really what it was about. No one would have bought it otherwise). It has been said in their defense that maybe one person could have been saved. Well, I will tell you, unless the pure gospel was preached during that time – not one soul was led to Christ. The Holy Spirit is the one who draws – not a tv show, or a song. And if someone was “saved” I will bet you my $10 I made today that it is a false conversion. This scenario sends mixed messages to see someone who lives a contradictory lifestyle singing about a God she doesn’t know along with someone who is supposed to not be ignorant of the scripture (remember those who are not adopted into His family, don’t know Him because they can’t understand His word). And he, WE as believers should know this.

Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.

Please use discernment,

+Deidra Hall 
Board Certified Coach 

Follow me on TWITTER

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For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deut 20:4  Translation: We never lose!!

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